I was at a networking meeting recently and one of the members mentioned that he was looking for power partners in his business. The term piqued the interest of many who were interested in what that looked like. He went on to explain that a power partner is about 2 people who are mutually beneficial to each other in referring business that contributes to each other's clients.
This got me to thinking about friendships and love relationships and the concept that no one enjoys a needy partner, but no one really defines what someone is looking for in a solid partnership.
These days, I notice that people have gone to such an extreme to not appear needy that they become so independent that they are lonely and their 'partner' feels unappreciated and disconnected. Their barriers are up so high that they may as well be doing it all on their own with only someone there to witness the massive feats they are accomplishing. If we are truly only going for an audience, okay, but I sense we are actually longing for something so much deeper - a power partnership or many. By many, I mean, in friendships as well as lover-ships.
The biggest question I receive in my profession is HOW????
The how here lies in the difference between needing and acknowledging the value of contribution that someone brings to your life. When we acknowledge the value of someone it means we have take the time to appreciate and taken the barriers down enough to allow them to contribute or give to our lives in a way that makes a difference. Then the key is to truly be the energy and word of appreciation.
This space of acknowledgement can actually feel super vulnerable to someone who has prided themselves in never 'needing' anyone because it may feel like you have let down your barriers enough to move into a space of neediness.
It is quite the contrary. In the space of acknowledgment and appreciation you realize you are not alone and come out of the space of emptiness and loneliness to the space of fulfillment and overflow. Allowing another to give from the natural space of who they are without nitpicking and judgment is a gift that we give those in our lives that keeps the gift of them coming.
There is another thing that is required in order to actually receive from someone else in your life....it requires you to stop giving long enough to receive.
I believe that many are addicted to giving so that they are distracted from a fear that no one will actually desire to give anything of worth to them.
In the incessant giving they actually train others around them that they will not receive and thereby prove to themselves that they are the only givers and that no one actually desires to give to them, when in reality they never left the space of time or breath for another to be able to give at all.
Look at your current friendships or relationships. Where do you have a mutual sense of acknowledgment, ease, contribution etc? How are you cultivating this? Would you be willing to bring this energy into all of your relationships?
What if it is not about expecting your 'power partner' to change at all; what if it is about acknowledging the value that they bring to our lives and in that acknowledgement their contribution automatically, as if by magic, increases.
What if our joy, presence and delight invited a deeper connection of contribution than any requests or verbal communications ever could? What if the more we delight in another and realize their worth in our lives, the more that they show up? What if there is a fine and yet, incredibly distinct line between neediness and valuing the way that someone naturally shows up in your life? Allowing someone to be themselves and then delighting in that space is one of the greatest gifts we can give another. When we expect them to change just so that our lives can be better, we have missed the point of this incredible journey of life that we are on!
Moving to the real HOW in all of this requires a life time of unconscious patterns to melt into new patterns that actually create the life and relationships that you desire. I am guessing that you have tried a number of ways to enrich your relationships. Some of them have worked, others not so much, and others worked for as long as you tried them. Isn't it time that you stopped wishing and hoping for the kind of relationships that truly fulfill your life? Honestly, you don't have to let go of what you have to create something new and exciting!
Contact me if you would like to have a complimentary 20-30 minute conversation about how your relationships could move to a more fulfilling space where you sense that you are more than just useful, you are valued and worthy of being contributed to!
Go to BeyondThisReality.com/services to book your complimentary session. (new clients only please)